SINGLE BLISS:Joys and Beauty of Singleness

THERE'S ANOTHER WAY

Typically, we look at the state of singleness in a negative view. In the past, society has taught us to view singleness as a life living incomplete, a state of loneliness, being unnoticed, forgotten, disapproved, unwanted, undesirable, etc. And we believed it. What if I told you that there's a another way to look at singleness! A better one!
One that's true! Today, I'm giving you a brand NEW way to view your (or someone close to you) season of singleness.

THERE'S PURPOSE

In life there are many seasons. A season of hope, season of growth, gaining friendships, losing friendships, thriving at work, demoting at work, a season of waiting, a season of trying, a season of marriage, and yes you've guessed it, a season of singleness.  First, you must understand, for many, singleness is a season. We know that in every season, there is purpose. And there is only One (the Lord), Who has carefully and gracefully placed every season in our lives. It's up to us in what we do with the seasons we have been given. There's purpose for every season. It's up to us to seek Him to discover the purpose of that journey within Him.

A VISION

After a few months of starting my relationship with the Lord, I was dating a guy and we always talked about our future together. I was young in my relationship with Christ. One day, I was praying, and the Lord showed me a vision of me and the guy I was dating at the time. We sat down on this couch as a married couple, and as we began to sit, I spoke the words we both we're thinking, "Okay, so now what?!" It was in that vision I knew my pursuit was pointless, and that marriage and relationships held so much substance. More than I could imagine. But, I didn't know what that more was!

DESTINED FOR A JOURNEY

Later in 2007, the Lord called me to a season of singleness. I had just broke up with an ex in college. He was a great guy, and I saw potential in him I haven't seen in other guys. The day we broke up, I fell to my knees, I told the Lord I was DONE! I told Him that the next guy I became "official" with will be the husband He had for me. I was tired of the hurt, wasting tears, energy, and time on something that wasn't going to progress into my future. Though, I fell to my knees, and it may seem as if I invited myself to the Lord's table, but I would say it was the Lord inviting my heart. That prayer was a resounding YES to the question He has pressed in my heart for a long time. "Will you learn to love Me?" That circumstance helped prepare my heart's YES! Knowing how hard headed I could be (lol), I asked the Lord if He would put His foot down on any relationship I tried to create on my own outside of His will, no matter what. And He has done just that! That was July 2007. Here it is 2017! And I have learned so much. Transformation has taken place. A nearness with the Lord has become evident in my life. I learned that I could be totally satisfied, content with the Lord in my life!..And guess what?!  the same can be TRUE for you!

THE SINGLE BLISS

The Bliss in the state of Singleness is not hard to find if you look with the right perception. One day in the beginning of my singleness journey, not long after saying that prayer, I was missing my ex really bad. "Did I make a mistake? What if.... What if... " Tears started to stream down my cheeks as I began to think the worst things possible about singleness. That's when the Lord told me to find the BEAUTY in ALL things. Find the beauty in the midst of the bad. When I find the beauty, I will see Him! When my heart was opened and ready to see His beauty in my new found season of singleness, it was then my eyes were opened, and my heart learning to walk in His contentment. That's when I realized, I wasn't doing this alone. The Bliss of Singleness is the JOY or BEAUTY of receiving Him, and it may look differently than each others.

"Well Jenny, what is the BLISS you have received?" 

My Bliss was getting to know my Abba Father, Daddy God, more intimately than I have ever dreamt possible! I learned how to HEAR Him! We would talk and talk for hours! If you haven't noticed by now, but I LOVE good conversation and He knows that (He has designed me like that)! The God Who spoke this world into existence and motion desires to listen and converse with ME! This truth blew my heart away! He's taught me through experience that I Am LOVED, desired, cherished, and wanted! I was bought back (redeemed), sought after, fought for!  I learned what it meant to be a Daughter of God (still learning this timeless truth!) I've got to experience Him first hand as a Comforter, Protector, Lover, Healer, Provider, Faithful, Guide, Father,Truth! Before God, I didn't know who I was, my potential, my dreams, what made me smile, my true personality, my beauty! In the journey, layer after layer after layer began to peel off. Who you see stand before you now is NOT the same Jennifer I was almost 10 years ago! Today, I know who I am, I know what He has gifted me with, I know where I am being led. I know His voice. I know and am STILL learning His heart. And I know I can live up to my fullest potential NOW! Best of all, outside of just being His daughter,  I get to experience Him first hand to use me as a vessel to help bring others out of captivity. I get to see hearts set free from brokenness and healed in the Lord! Hearts live as they were called since the beginning of time: His Beloved. I get to witness them LIVE in intimacy with Him, knowing Him personally, and leading others to do the same! THIS IS MY BLISS! PERSONALLY KNOWING HIM, AND KNOWING THAT HE LOVES ME! What's YOURS?


BUT, ISN'T IT HARD?

I might be content and satisfied in my season of singleness, however I am not exempt in the temptation of stepping out of that state of contentment. I've come to learn that contentment is not only a state of discipline, but a state of mind, trust, CHOICE, and focus! I CHOSE to be content in Him. I made Jesus primarily my focus in LIFE. My all in all. He is far greater and more important than a man of God could ever be! In fact, I prayed that the Lord would help me to not make my husband and the desire for marriage to become an idol above Him. I chose Jesus to be my one desire! To know Him, love Him, and make Him known! You have to make a choice for yourself!

LET'S BE REAL

There were moments the flesh rose because of a distraction in my relationship with Christ that I might have allowed at the time. At times this has revealed unsettled issues in my heart that if not dealt with immediately could lead into larger issues. For example, how choosing not to forgive over a small issue can grow into a state of bitterness over time. These unresolved issues of the heart (for me) reflects where I had lost focus of Jesus, and placed it solely onto the areas of life I may 'feel' that I was lacking (though in reality, we lack no good thing  if we seek Him. [Psalm 34:10] ) Which then begins to point out other areas that seemed hard to see His hands at work. Areas such as church, job, home, relationships, and yes, singleness. When that distraction comes into a full circle, dissatisfaction breaks forth, anxiety pops up with it's cousins doubt, worry, and fear who LOVES to bring confusion right along for the ride...and then BOOM it happens! The "Singleness Fit!"

THE 'SINGLENESS FIT'

Let me introduce to you what I like to call, the "Singleness Fit." The area the enemy LOVES to attack the most in a single's life, because he knows the purpose and power this season holds for them and the Lord. This fit can take on multiple forms. Bursting out the "Whys and Whens" to the Lord, the bouts of complaints and frustration, envy, impatience, and anything opposite of God and purpose of singleness. An attitude adjustment needs to be made once it arrives. It typically leaves you with the feeling that waiting is in vain, and that it will never happen, God is not faithful, settle for less, and giving up (just to name a few.) 

**IMPORTANT: Listen, when the ugly head of the "singleness fit" pops its ugly head up, please, do not delay to run to Jesus' feet and become transparent and vulnerable between you and the Lord. If needed, reach out to a trusted friend that can shed light on the perspective and pray with you! It's an attack not on the promise of God, but your relationship with the Giver Himself! It tries to get you to view God as unfaithful, untrustworthy, non-loving, unrighteous, a liar, etc. From first hand experience, it is nothing but a lie from the pit of hell! If you see yourself in this text, please do not fear. Written below I have provided some tools I have found that has helped me to fight off these attacks. These are only tools to help you, or help get you started. Find what works best for you and God. There is no formula! He is a PERSONAL GOD!** 

I don't know about you, but sometimes, I have fallen victim into the temptation of the singleness "fit", because I was tired of waiting, or felt alone and so ready for the companion He had for me, or was just ready to step in the next phase of life.I had taken my eyes off Jesus and placed them on myself.  It's in those "fits" that I ran to Jesus (who else do I have to run to? lol) and became transparent with Him and myself. It was in those moments a beautiful exchange took place! He in return took my thoughts, anxieties, confusion, hurts, etc, and replaced them with His thoughts, comfort, understanding, confirmations, and blesses me with this sudden supernatural peace and strength to keep going. Keep fighting, going strong. (more on this in another blog coming soon!) This beautiful exchange actually led me closer to Him, and experience more of His heart towards me. It erased the doubts, fears, and worries I had taken upon myself by the listening to the lies of the "singleness fit."

WHAT TO DO WHEN THE 'FIT' COMES

In those moments you see yourself begin to have a singleness "fit", pause, breathe, step back, and seek the Lord. Ask Jesus to reveal any unresolved issues you may be holding in your heart against Jesus, yourself, and others. 

• Feeling discontent? Spend some time with Him. Digress anything on your heart. Open the bible and read. Start a prayer journal. Love on Him, again.  Its a sign that your focus has been off. 

• Feeling lonely? Take some time and sit in His presence. Not to receive or to do, but just to BE! Rest in being His daughter, or son. Listen to some worship music to remind you of His love. Read the gospels and visualize yourself standing next to Jesus as He is speaking or interacting with the people in the Bible. It's a sign you've been seeking approval or attention from others and not the Lord.

• Trouble with waiting? Stop. Breathe. Take sometime and spend it in His presence. Sit at His feet and pray. Ask God to remind you why it is worth the wait. Write the revelation in your prayer journal, and ask Him to help you put it in His hands. It's a sign you've been rushing or too busy in life, and need to take a moment to look at Him again.

• Consistently thinking on the "WHAT IF's" or the "WHAT WILL BE's?" Again seek Him. Ask Him to help you put things into the correct perspective. Start taking note of the positive things you have noticed of being single. Talk to Him out LOUD. Read a few promise scriptures out loud. Or your favorite verses. It's a sign of worry or fear of the future.

WAIT, DID YOU CATCH THAT?!

Did you see that? There is a repetitive step in counter attacking the "singleness fit". Seek Him, Ask Him, and lay at His feet!  These were the three most common steps to take to stand against the "fit" when it tries to attack your relationship with the Father. We don't have to fight this fight alone, we have Him! 



Holy Spirit is our comforter, our guide, and HELPER!! He desires to do this life WITH US! He's here to help us! Relationships exist so that we know how to ultimately have one with HIM! That's one purpose for marriage! (Don't worry, I'll be sharing more of what I learned for the purposes of marriage on another post soon! ;) ) 

S/N: How can we expect to love our spouses  and know how to have a relationship with them if we don't know how to have one with God first? Better yet, how can anyone of us know or learn how to love another without the creator of Love and LOVE Himself love through us!!! Let Christ be your ultimate purpose not your spouse! *This post isn't about how to get a spouse, but how to love your husband already at hand.... His name? His name is Jesus. Your first LOVE!

NOW, THE BALL IS IN YOUR COURT

So that's it! Now that you have a new perspective on your season. You know there is purpose in your singleness. So embrace this season for you and the Lord, Jesus Christ. Go forth and enjoy the journey! Remember, it's the journey and not the destination that makes the difference. You don't have to view this season as one that is unpleasant, but beautiful! It's up to you to discover the purpose. Remember, it is God Who puts the seasons in our lives, and it is up to us with what we do with them that makes the difference. When the fits come, remember to fall at the feet of your FIRST Love (Jesus)!  We can continue to be discontent, or fully satisfied in the Lord alone! Although, we should enjoy our season, we have been given a CHOICE. So, choose wisely!


Love always,

Jenny!❤

*Comment Below your view of singleness BEFORE reading this post, and how you felt AFTER reading! What are some things that you are taking home with you?*

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